Three Things to Consider Before Getting Married or Divorced

What happens in your marriage when you realize your spouse isn't the right one? Do you leave your spouse or become the right one? They say it's not about finding the right person but being the right person.

What happens when you realize you don't share the same goals and dreams and you are at odds with one another all time? Do you leave your spouse or adjust your dreams and goals?

What happens if you find someone who looks better than your spouse and you want the other person instead? Do you leave your spouse or be content with your spouse's beauty.

The pharisees asked Jesus was it OK to divorce a spouse for any reason because it was their custom to do so. They divorced their spouses if they saw someone prettier or shapelier than their own spouse. Of if she couldn't cook or if they were tired of her.

Jesus told them, spouses divorcing one another wasn't what God had planned when He created marriage. Marriage was supposed to be permanent but because of the hardness of their hearts God allowed divorce but with a stipulation (adultery). A spouse committing adultery was the only biblical reason for obtaining a divorce.

But what if you are in a violent or abusive relationship. Does God want you to remain in such a marriage?

God hates divorce but allows it. And God hates violence, according to (Genesis 6:13, )He destroyed the earth with a flood because the earth was filled with it.

 God would rather have you divorce your spouse than to see you suffering from abuse.

God takes marriage seriously. Entering into a marriage covenant shouldn't be taken lightly, therefore get pre-marital counselling before you get married.

Scripture says, "Where no counsel is, the people fall: but in the multitude of counselors there is safety." Proverbs 11:14

Please seek counsel from trusted sources. You may ask your family and friends for advice. Ask your pastor or other qualified professional counselor if possible. But trust your heart and listen to God's advice. His Holy Spirit will lead and guide you onto the path you should go but please listen to Him. I've heard horror stories from people who've said God warned them not to marry a certain person but they ignored his advice/warnings.

Remember: He is a Wonderful, Counselor, Mighty God, Everlasting Father, the Prince of Peace.(Isaiah 9:6)

For more on this topic see chapter four of my book The Pleasure Trap. To buy a print copy please see the books tab on this page. 


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